Pros and Cons - Living With a BB

So after doing an 'Internet confession' in my previous post I thought I would write a post on the benefits and downsides to owning this bastard of a phone.


PROS:

1) Everyone has a BB. It's true. And BlackBerry should really change their marketing motto to it. At any social event it really does amaze me that after doing a quick visual survey of a venue almost 80% (this number has been arbitrarily chosen for the uses of this statistic) of people have a BlackBerry. It really is like belonging to some sort of global fraternity. To the point where people gasp when you tell them, like I used to, you don't own one. It just makes it easier for a line of communication to be created between two or more people.

2) No excuse to not keep in contact. If you're like me and tend to forget whole swathes of people from time to time then you are always promising to catch up with them but rarely do. But once a friend has been added to your BlackBerry messenger contact list there really shouldn't be any excuse. Even geographical distance is no barrier. All those friends you made on holiday or family overseas are literally a button press away. But again, if you're like me you still manage to not keep in contact. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3) Easy to make plans quickly with various people at the same time. As evidenced by the catch up meal with a few friends that was organised quickly with 5 people all at the same time over BBM, it proved invaluable. It was at this time I looked down at my BB and credited it with making a possible difficult task very streamlined and simple.

4) The keypad. I think it was Drake that said he felt his fingers were made for the BB. After my thumbs did some "evolving" I did get used to the keypad and I have to say I agree. The keypad is just so comfortable to use and just as effective. So much so, it becomes a problem every time I try to use a full size keyboard. This is definitely an underrated selling point of the BB. Especially with the advent of touch screen phones and their simply pitiful touch-keypads.



CONS:

1) Everyone has BB. Yeah it is a blessing and a curse in itself. You just can't seem to escape the mass appeal of these little devices. It's popularity is global. And because so many people have one it falls straight into the category of a "fad". Even though this current one has been going strong for a while now, eventually it will die out.

2) Broadcasts. Depending on how many people you have on your contact list will establish the percentage of idiotic people who just have to re-broadcast every stupid broadcast they receive. The spam I receive on my email is bad enough but receiving the same dead joke, piece of news, rave update etc. over and over again is enough for me to want to smash my screen. Especially when I' told I will die or something bad will happen if I don't pass it on.

3) "Phantom Red Light Syndrome". This isn't the official medical name for the random hallucination BB owners have when they think they see a red light emanating from the corner of their eye. They believe it is coming from their BB but after a tense staring match no red light appears. There have even been reported cases where owners believe the flashing red light is emanating from phones that are not BB's i.e. iPhones. It is worrying that such a little thing could bring on such brief episodes of neurosis - someone should do a study.

4) Becoming an addict. I think you actually have to have an addictive personality to become a fiendish crackberry addict but it happens. This little device just becomes the centre of some people's universes. They can't operate their daily life without it. Some would go as far to say that they cannot survive without one. Just one of the downfalls of this new age of inter-connectedness. People start displaying withdrawal symptoms when they have to go without their BB for any amount of time. Luckily I am not one of these people.

5) Eventually it will die and there's nothing you can do about it. No seriously. This is probably the worst thing about having a BB. No matter what you do, even if you take care of it like it was an actual child. Whether you make sure you never drop it or get it wet. It makes no difference. Eventually and out of nowhere your BB will just stop working. Whether it be the trackball (for older models), the screen or the "a" key something will stop working. It is almost like torture because you know it will happen and are powerless to do anything about it. It just makes you wonder what the hell RIM are doing in their tech meetings. And this is by far the biggest drawback of owning a BB. It has the equivalent build quality of a Fiat Punto and I do not mean the new shape ones. But luckily I have a lifetime warranty and free insurance on mine.

Anyway, that's all for now.

However I do feel sorry for people that have a Torch and have to deal with that mind numbingly slow OS. And to all BB users - when you break it down you are just paying for the messenger services - that is it.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Or just add them on pin. Whatever is easier for you.

I'm a Hypocrite - Living with a BB

Speak,See or Hear No Evil

So a few months ago I wrote a little piece on how I was sick of all the stick I was getting for not owning a Black Berry. 'I'm Tired Of Being Ostracised For Not Having A BlackBerry' was an interesting post to write to say the least. But a lot has changed in that time and at the behest request from a couple of my friends, who read my blog, they urged it was time for me to review my post and do an update.

So after looking at alternatives to my trusty Nokia N97 which up until last summer I had for over 2 years it was time for me to look for a new phone. After publicly stating my dislike of BlackBerry (BB) devices there was only two logical choices in my Smart phone decision: A HTC device or the iPhone 4. Obviously my heart was set on the iPhone since I hadn't replaced the iPod Touch I had lost the year before. I can still recall the rush of excitement I got when first taking my iPhone 4 out of the box.

Since I had shopped around i got my iPhone for the best deal on O2 and not my long time mobile provider T-Mobile. It pained me when I had to make the call to cancel my long time contract but it had to be done. I got put through to a nice chap and after he pulled up my details he saw I was a long time loyal customer and he wouldn't let me go without a fight. He asked me what phone I was interested in aside form the iPhone. I was pretty frank with him and let him know there wasn't really one but if I had to choose it would be the BlackBerry. He then proceeded to lay on the metaphorical table an offer I couldn't refuse. I'm not even going to announce what the offer was; all I'm going to say is that it was a "friggin' steal".

So there I was. After years of public shame every time I brought out my battered N97  I now had a brand spanking new iPhone 4 and a white BlackBerry Bold. The cards life deals you are funny. It has to be said that I didn't feel like a hypocrite straight away. Anyone in my position would have done exactly the same - the offer really was that good. My main phone was always going to be my iPhone and I treated it as such. The BlackBerry had no other choice but to fulfil the role of my sidechick in phone terms. But over the growing months the role of the BlackBerry in my life became more prominent. Its influence over me slowly started growing. Then came the day I realised I had become the very thing that I had verbally lambasted in my other post.

While leaving to go to one of my afternoon coaching sessions a few months back I was mindlessly typing away on my BB. While performing that most wondrous of BB skills - The "walking without looking up". I seriously think it should be officially recognised as the sixth sense. While unknowingly perfecting this skill I almost had a head on collision with a young female who - you may have already guessed - was performing the exact same trick on her BB device. While luckily looking up in time to avert an almost certainly painful but ultimately humorous incident I realised I had indeed become a hypocrite. One of the things I put a lot of energy into not being. But it hit me. "I finally noticed it, it finally hit me. Like Tina did Ike in the limo, it finally hit me". I was disgusted with myself. I had to take action before I became one of those dreaded 'CrackBerry' addicts.

So to my readers I admit to you I was a hypocrite. It saddens me to have to tell you this. I know you expect better from me. I will endeavour to make sure such a thing does not happen again. I know quite a few of my friends have the iPhone/BlackBerry combo and having both phones does prove very useful.

I can no longer criticise BB users for the things they do. But you know what they say: "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em".

Internet Gem: Something About Us

In one of my posts a few months ago I acknowledged the wonderful power of the Internet and it's almost miraculous power to excavate many precious gems. It may be a very humorous picture, a motivational article, a tear jerking video etc. It can be absolutely anything.

So for that reason I welcome a new segment to MIKEZ WORLD: Internet Gems. Whenever I stumble across anything amazing on the Internet and I feel like sharing it I'll post it here.

So to commemorate one of my favourite albums reaching it's 10 year anniversary here is what I feel is an Internet gem.

If you do not know I am a
BIG

BIG

BIG

BIG

DAFT PUNK FAN!

I'm not even going to go into why I think their music is out of this world. I'd be here writing for days. But my favourite album of theirs is entitled 'Discovery' and it was released in 2001. And my favourite song on the album and favourite song full stop is 'Something About Us'. I was derided many times in Secondary School for liking such a song. But after 10 years it has withstood the test of time and I still have the same feeling every time I listen to it. There are a whole host of covers that I have viewed on YouTube but in my opinion this is one of the best:

The Comeback

What can I say?

It's the return of the most inconsistent blogger EVER.
I know it is jarring. But I just can't help it. When procrastination and laziness creep in there is almost nothing I can do to curtail their devastating effects.

So to my readers I sincerely apologise. A righteous man would promise to blog more consistently. But a honest man, which I am, will just promise you that he would try harder. But life is life and shit happens.

I have a few post ideas and will publish some long overdue ones over the coming weeks. But I always say the best way to begin is just to begin. So that is exactly what I'm doing. Hopefully announcing my "comeback" will spur me to write. Which is not to say I lack the passion or the drive. I just always find some excuse not too. Which is bad but honest.

I am disappointed that in the two years since I started my blog that I have barely got to 60 posts. But one of my targets for last year was to be more proud of my writing which I half achieved. I may not have been proud in terms of quantity but in terms of quality I am very proud. My writing has evolved from it's controversial beginnings into something more substantial. I'm not sure if I can call myself a "writer" in the traditional sense but I write what matters to me. My writing is a reflection of everything that is contained within me. A tool which is supposed to be utilised by the people in my life to gain an insight into the way I think. But I'm happy for all to read.

So I intend to pick up where I left off. I will continue with the deeper insights into my psyche, the personal and open factor a lot of you really liked in "I guess it was kinda my fault as well". I like engaging people's minds and challenging them to think from perspectives other than their own, so that will continue. A major U-turn I am making is on the subject of relationships. Last year I wanted to steer clear from writing about them because I am no relationship expert and didn't want my beautiful creation to turn into some relationship blog. But I have to admit defeat. I can't seem to escape from the topic. That's what people like to read about so I have to reluctantly concede that that will have to be what I write about from time to time. As long as there are people from both sexes willing (and in some cases neurotically yearning) to enter into mutually exclusive sexual relationships with each other then the subject cannot be avoided.

So that is all I have to say for now. Looking towards the future I clearly know in which direction I want my writing to go. Now for the hard bit...Just to write it. Hopefully I'll be proud of my writing on both fronts this year.



Michael.O

I Guess It Was Kind Of My Fault As Well

You know the routine. I apologise for not blogging for a while. You express your anger and disappointment. You say this is the last time and you will be leaving for good this time. I give you the old wink and smile and watch you slowly become putty in my hands. You reluctantly give into me and make me promise I won't make you wait so long anymore. I promise but I secretly have my fingers crossed behind my back. So lets skip all that today and just get to what I have on my mind since that's what you're here for.


While I was catching up on the few debate/discussion pages I am fan of on Facebook I came across something very interesting. I detest the mass numbers of newly made 'Facebook philosopher's' opinions I have to read on a daily basis but once in a while you come across someone who actually has a good critique of social behaviour that it makes me want to stand and clap in front of my laptop screen. Also because I have been struggling with ideas for posts at the moment this was great inspiration. The discussion had to do with the supposed problem between black men and women having successful relationships.

"Among other things, the problem is the psychopathic game of impression management that's played between the genders. Everybody presents themselves as either flawless or flawed-less. Every failed relationship they've ever had is always because of the other person. Very few people own up to their own personal role in damaged relationships. And when people in front of us present themselves in this way, we usually take it as "wow, this person is quite a catch". We don't realize that we're the next contestant and predesignated winner of the "it's all your fault" competition."


This short but amazing passage really struck a chord within me because I was so guilty of this same kind of impression management that it made me extremely embarrassed. Humans are beings that will always try to exonerate themselves of blame or fault when it comes to any given situation, especially relationships. It's very hard for a person to raise their hand and admit when something was their fault. I mean it's blindingly obvious why people don't, especially when it comes to relationships. We all seem to ride the excuse bandwagon from time to time. How seriously would you take someone who openly admitted to their defects and mistakes when it came to their previous engagements with the opposite sex? The thing is, aside from the obviously psychotic, people who do this honestly should be commended. Doing such a thing shows development and acknowledgement of prior mistakes with the intent of correcting them. Long gone are the days when I used to portray myself as almost perfect, my track record with females renders that implausible. I always say that the first thing that would cross my mind if I met a seemingly amazing female who was single would not be "wow I'm so lucky" but "What are you hiding from me? Because someone so amazing can't possibly be single for no reason, she must be crazy." Unfortunately I failed to look at my self in the same cynical light. I'm not crazy or anything but I have my fair share of flaws that have led to the dissolution of a few relationships.

 So because I love my blog and I keep no secrets from her; here is a list of some of my flaws that have led to my repeated failures in relationships. Yes I'm going to be brave and raise my hand up.




My emotional unavailability. This is probably my biggest flaw. I don't know why but I have a problem accessing and thus expressing my emotions. I find it even harder to provide emotional support for people. I am not the person to come to if you need some consolation or pity. Unfortunately most females need this emotional support for any potential relationship to blossom, so you see my dilemma. But the females I encounter are happy at first to wait for the emotional and settle for the physical as a temporary substitute. But like my youth spent waiting for Santa... it never comes. I portray myself to be an open book but I have recently admitted to myself that I'm never really open when it counts. I guess certain females that walked away from me figured this out before I did.

My sometimes hectic schedule. My life switches between being slow a serene to fast and hectic without a moments notice. For this reason I often find it hard to squeeze females I am seeing into my weekly plans. I have a clear set of priorities and I am not known to clear my schedule just to see someone, I would already have to be free which is difficult because I am rarely given advance warning when I need to travel somewhere. I guess if I had to sum up it would be my inability to be flexible. Being honest, in my list of priorities females are not at the top of it. Neither are they in the middle.


My laid back attitudes when it comes to argumentsSupposedly getting angry shows you care? Anyway, my laissez faire attitude has led to many less than amicable relationship terminations.



My close female friends. I seem to friend zone females very easily (Yes, guys can do the friend zone thing as well) just to save everyone some trouble. Out of these I have come to acquire some of my closest and most trusted confidantes. Somehow some females become confused when they see I have numerous relationships with females that are purely platonic and they start becoming a little paranoid. My female friends are also impossibly hard to please and any choice I make on a potential partner is never the right one. Where I messed up was explicitly telling potentials that there was a hierarchy and for the foreseeable future my female friends in most situations would come before them. Next time I know just to keep my mouth shut and deal with things on an individual basis rather than indirectly make a female think she has no chance in ever getting close to me.




I'm kind of a Freudian. I have often been criticised for over thinking situations. Due to my psychological background and high level of education I can't help but look at things from angles people wouldn't realise to think from. Sometimes I can't help but psychoanalyse someone. I often get carried away and create situations for no reason.


My reluctance to give in to unreasonable demands. I often see my friends in their relationships  give into to the silliest of demands all in the name of "compromise".  My friend Eric had something to say about this word. I agree it is an essential part of any relationship but there is a difference between compromise and giving into neurotic insecurities. I strongly believe that any silly behaviour that isn't immediately discouraged is encouraged. Before you know it you would have stopped talking to all your friends just because your partner asked you too. Nonsense.
Unfortunately I am a firm advocate of "it's either my way or the highway..." it is the one area I can honestly say I am a control freak.

I'm not the "Break up, make up" type. This is pretty self explanatory. I'm more of a "You only get one chance" type of guy. There is a word associated with a couple that everyone else can see should just call it quits - Weaklings. And I'll be damned if I ever become such a person. Unfortunately I could have potentially lost out on some great relationships just because of my stubborn refusal to fight for a female.



That's it for now. Can't be bothered to look at myself in such a critical light any longer. I urge all my readers to "raise their hands" and admit to the things they had done that led to certain relationships never working out. Obviously you don't have to do it in such a public way of course.


Sidenote: For the purposes of this post the term "relationship" has been used very loosely to describe any interaction I have had with a female that started with the desire to get to know each other and hoped it would lead to something more. I have no problem meeting females, it just never gets to the actual relationship stage. I don't want you guys thinking I'm one of those insecure serial daters who is afraid to be alone. I have only ever been in one proper relationship and the less said about that the better.

Peace out.

The Experiment: Concluded

This post is long overdue.

I was supposed to write three posts detailing my thoughts and feelings after the failure of my experiment. I put it off for a long time because the first "denial" post was just nonsense. It was incoherent and pointless. But I just could not articulate how I felt. And I still can't.

As a writer (can I really call myself that?) it infuriates me when I can't take my feelings and thoughts and transfer them to a physical/digital medium exactly how I want them to. So for that reason I decided not to bother writing the "Acceptance?" and "Relapse" posts I had planned.

It has been difficult. Letting someone go is not always as easy as I make it seem. I had to admit to myself I needed to actually get over "my experiment". It wasn't love, far from it. But it was the role she fulfilled that I miss the most. A vessel which I could use when my own body could not take any more of my own fears, opinions. feelings, frustrations, creativity, anger etc. I am not lying when I say that most of the time this is all over flowing within me. Eventually it all became too much for her. Understandable

I go through all the stages every week. But like they say time is a healer but damn is it slow. And because none of my friends have been available for me to have a proper talk about this, my blog is the only way I can really work through my feelings. Guess I need better friends. But I'm sure it's just me.


Anyway, thanks for reading. Sorry if this didn't make sense. My creativity is abstract.

Wishing successful experiments to all my readers.

The Annual Friendship Performance Review

It's that time of year again people. The time for the 'culling' of friends. I think it's a good idea that people do a little "spring-cleaning" in the summertime when it comes to friends. Usually I like to be callous and lock people off with a very direct phone call or Facebook message. But usually I just lock people off in my head without giving the person any notification and carry on with my life. These people have probably already chosen to flutter off anyway so why give them the satisfaction of a formal termination I say.

One of my reasons for my micro melancholia at times is the fact I don't have someone like myself which fulfils the role I fill for a lot of my friends, for me. Kanye moment. I'm not saying I'm the best (but I'm the best) although I do have a good mix of interpersonal skills that can be of great benefit to any potential friend. I do feel that I always make the people around me better, just call me the MVP of the Friendship League. While on my journey of continuous self improvement, I thought to myself how could I be fairer in choosing who I terminate when it comes to the exclusive Michael Ogundare friend contract. People have often complained that the callousness of my actions never leaves the terminated party with any choice in whether they agree with the termination or if they should be given a probationary period in which to improve. Thus the idea for the 'Friendship Performance Review' suddenly came to me.

You get performance reviews at work and if you consistently are marked as under performing then you will eventually receive your P45. So why shouldn't the same logic of using a professional means to assess performance be used in an equally important sphere?

So I am currently 'reviewing' my inner circle of friends and if they receive a less than stellar overall grade then I will sit down and discuss with them the areas in which they could improve. I know this all sounds long and overly unnecessary but I really like the idea and it seems like it will make some of my friendships stronger. Also the feeling of locking off a dead weight friend in such a professional manner is exhilarating. Try it. This isn't only a one way street either. Encourage your friends to review you and tell you where they think you could improve.

This may revolutionize how people maintain their relationships because we all know that though there are more ways to communicate than ever before, we still struggle to have real communication. If you want to be sneaky like I am you can your friends questions without telling them they are actually being 'reviewed' then suddenly come out with a document/conversation telling them of the outcome of their review.

Good friendships to all.