One Thousand Eight Hundred and Twenty- Seven Days

I'm feeling weird at the moment because I had forgot that on the 2nd February it was my Dad's anniversary of death. I was all caught up with the commotion of the snow day and feeling overjoyed that I got to miss work and had no Uni that I had forgotten the day that had been on my mind for the last couple of weeks.

1827 is the exact number of days since my dad passed away (including the two leap days, just in case ur neeky).

Obviously this is a sensitive subject for me but I feel that after 5 years I can finally talk about it to a degree. I'm not gonna talk about my whole experience cos' I'm definitely not that open but I'm just going to write about how in 5 years I have grown from a boy to a man.

Today was the day exactly five years ago when my father was taken away from me, suddenly and unexpectedly. I do not need to tell you that it was very hard time for me and my family. And if any of you know about Nigerian culture, you know that it is up to the first born son to take over as the head of the household and take over the responsibilities of the recently deceased father. Now, hearing this as a sixteen year old I did not want this responsibility, or burden which is how I saw it. I was Young and selfish. I did not want any other responsibilities, I wanted to carry on acting immature and not having a care in the world. But life has a funny way of thrusting you into these kind of positions.

Losing someone in life is never something easy to get over, especially when they gave life to you. I can't be bitter because I did have him in my life for 16 years and I know there are many people who don't even know their dads. But no matter how many years pass I know life never gets easier without him. I just know life goes on, regardless. Its even weirder because no matter how much I used to deny it, every time I look in the mirror I see him staring back at me. I look more and more like him very passing day. And I hold the lesson's he taught me close to my heart and always try to follow them through.

It seems like it was only a couple of months ago we were making funeral arrangements. And now 5 years has passed already. I don't know where the time has gone, honestly. I mean 5 years? Just passed like that. I can't really get my mind around it. But in that time I've learnt to be self sufficient, I learned to handle my business and I learnt what it truly means to be considered a man. I learnt how to accept responsibility for my mistakes and apologise for them. I don't really have any regrets, and I wouldn't have done anything differently.

I only wish I could have gotten to know him better.

But I'm thankful for the time we did spend together, and the knowledge he infused in me and the love he showed me.

I'm proud to be your son, and I will always miss you.

Life doesn't get any easier but I know you wouldn't accept any excuses, so I carry on for you and the family you left me to look after.