The Experiment: Concluded

This post is long overdue.

I was supposed to write three posts detailing my thoughts and feelings after the failure of my experiment. I put it off for a long time because the first "denial" post was just nonsense. It was incoherent and pointless. But I just could not articulate how I felt. And I still can't.

As a writer (can I really call myself that?) it infuriates me when I can't take my feelings and thoughts and transfer them to a physical/digital medium exactly how I want them to. So for that reason I decided not to bother writing the "Acceptance?" and "Relapse" posts I had planned.

It has been difficult. Letting someone go is not always as easy as I make it seem. I had to admit to myself I needed to actually get over "my experiment". It wasn't love, far from it. But it was the role she fulfilled that I miss the most. A vessel which I could use when my own body could not take any more of my own fears, opinions. feelings, frustrations, creativity, anger etc. I am not lying when I say that most of the time this is all over flowing within me. Eventually it all became too much for her. Understandable

I go through all the stages every week. But like they say time is a healer but damn is it slow. And because none of my friends have been available for me to have a proper talk about this, my blog is the only way I can really work through my feelings. Guess I need better friends. But I'm sure it's just me.


Anyway, thanks for reading. Sorry if this didn't make sense. My creativity is abstract.

Wishing successful experiments to all my readers.

The Annual Friendship Performance Review

It's that time of year again people. The time for the 'culling' of friends. I think it's a good idea that people do a little "spring-cleaning" in the summertime when it comes to friends. Usually I like to be callous and lock people off with a very direct phone call or Facebook message. But usually I just lock people off in my head without giving the person any notification and carry on with my life. These people have probably already chosen to flutter off anyway so why give them the satisfaction of a formal termination I say.

One of my reasons for my micro melancholia at times is the fact I don't have someone like myself which fulfils the role I fill for a lot of my friends, for me. Kanye moment. I'm not saying I'm the best (but I'm the best) although I do have a good mix of interpersonal skills that can be of great benefit to any potential friend. I do feel that I always make the people around me better, just call me the MVP of the Friendship League. While on my journey of continuous self improvement, I thought to myself how could I be fairer in choosing who I terminate when it comes to the exclusive Michael Ogundare friend contract. People have often complained that the callousness of my actions never leaves the terminated party with any choice in whether they agree with the termination or if they should be given a probationary period in which to improve. Thus the idea for the 'Friendship Performance Review' suddenly came to me.

You get performance reviews at work and if you consistently are marked as under performing then you will eventually receive your P45. So why shouldn't the same logic of using a professional means to assess performance be used in an equally important sphere?

So I am currently 'reviewing' my inner circle of friends and if they receive a less than stellar overall grade then I will sit down and discuss with them the areas in which they could improve. I know this all sounds long and overly unnecessary but I really like the idea and it seems like it will make some of my friendships stronger. Also the feeling of locking off a dead weight friend in such a professional manner is exhilarating. Try it. This isn't only a one way street either. Encourage your friends to review you and tell you where they think you could improve.

This may revolutionize how people maintain their relationships because we all know that though there are more ways to communicate than ever before, we still struggle to have real communication. If you want to be sneaky like I am you can your friends questions without telling them they are actually being 'reviewed' then suddenly come out with a document/conversation telling them of the outcome of their review.

Good friendships to all.