When I first envisioned writing a blog; it wasn't only for me to fulfil some narcissistic need for a wider range of people to read and agree with my somewhat controversial views. There was actually another reason. I wanted those among you who I call my friends to have an insight into my somewhat twisted mind and hopefully for you to understand me a little bit better. For you to take a walk through my world.
Friends? when it comes to them I'm just not sure - making them, finding them, losing them, letting go of them etc. are things I have done throughout my lifetime but I still find the whole routine kind of..................troublesome. (I'm adopting the Shikamaru way of life).
It's safe to say I have always had a lot of friends, as is true to say I have always "lost" a lot of "friends". From a young age I have always been a loner and this has never changed. Although I may be seen with a group of people from time to time and engage in activities with them, I have always been and forever will be a loner. There is nothing wrong with this and trust me it doesn't sadden me in the slightest- I have always had the necessary social skills to make friends but I have always been comfortable with just being on my own. It is for this very reason that although I may have numerous circles of friends but when it boils down to it I will always return to me, myself and I.
I guess it would be for this reason that I have kinda come to be known as someone "who does not care for his friends". Which I feel is a bit misconstrued. I have no problem making friends, its maintaining friendships that I have yet to properly master.
I am a man of zero tolerance and stupidness is the one thing I have no time for in my life. All my friends that have gotten to know me on a deeper level know that if the day should ever arise when we need to part ways then I will not hesitate to dissolve a friendship. I have gotten to the age where I feel I can only surround myself with like minded people and people who will only help me on my way to becoming successful. It is for this reason that I decided to trim my "acquaintance bush" and effectively cut 1/3 of the people I knew out of my life. This was not done in any spiteful way but it was done out of necessity. In every person's life there will be people you know that fulfil no particular purpose - I ask you what are these people adding to your life?
I went on a kind of "friend detox" (This is in reference to a video that was circulated on Facebook by a very smart young woman) a few months ago and had the aim of reducing my Facebook friends from 400+ down to 150. Now I did know most of the people on my facebook but still, I did not have daily, weekly, monthly or even yearly contact with most of the people on my friends list, so what role were they filling? Simply that of being excess and cluttering my home page with useless status updates. I eventually got my number of friends down to about 170 which was the number I was left with when I felt that the people left deserved to be part of those lucky few that had earned the title of my friend.
Now I did this well before the video about it was released and I ask all my readers to evaluate the people in your life and what role they are occupying and if they deserve it. NOW, people deleting people of their friends list has now turned into a bit of hype with people thinking they are more important and "beautiful" than they actually are which has led to me being deleted from a few people's friends lists. I cannot fault them for this however, because if they had come to the realisation that I did not occupy any significant role in their life or I had been slacking when it came to my friendship services than they had no alternative but to cut me out of their life.
Although there is one person who deleted me that I was kinda shocked about and if I can muster up enough "give a damn molecules" in my body then I will be contacting them soon to try and find out what the actual problem is.
As a friend I will do my best to make sure you are always centred and stay on track. I will question all your beliefs and push you to question everything. I will be there for you when it is needed and will always be on hand to assist you in whatever way I can. This is a basic service I extend to all my close friends and I expect them to return this service. So when it comes to ultimately locking off friends; it is not a problem for me because if they are not fulfilling these basic services then I simply do not care for them. I'd like to think it keeps all my friends on their toes knowing that any random act of stupidness can result in a swift locking off.
It is not that I don't care for my friends enough because that is simply not true. It is just that I can care for no one as much as I do for myself and my own well being. So when it comes to making tough decisions it makes it that much easier knowing that stupid people only bring you down in life and it is your personal responsibility to cut these people out - and nowhere is this life tool more important when it comes to identifying the people in your network of friends that are the stupid ones.
So even though I make more friends everyday I intend to keep all of you on your toes and believe me when I say I wouldn't think once let alone twice about locking any of you off in an instant. But until you do something stupid enough for me to do something that drastic I care for you all. Because when it comes down to it even if I get rid of all my friend circles, there is one circle that will permanently remain- Me, Myself and I.
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