No seriously. I kid you not. This really should have been a point in my previous post but I felt this point need to be expounded upon. I do not know why I personally get asked questions I know very little about. Ask me about Freudian psychoanalysis, Black History, LOST or Marxism and I'll be in my element, but ask about relationships and I'll be stumped - they are just not my thing. I hate talking or giving advice on subjects I have very little knowledge about. But yet I am still asked for advice? I can only deduce that people ask me because they know I am a "straight up and straight talking" kind of guy. I tell it exactly how it is and don't beat around the bush.
I guess you would think this would make me successful when it came to my endeavours with the opposite sex. Unfortunately, I am a huge and utter FAILURE. No seriously. One of the biggest gripes I have with my generation is the mass production of 'Dear Janes and Johns' (although this is a majority female dominated field). People are dishing out relationship advice even when it is not requested. I'm part of a generation who feel entitled to speak on any topic they want to with minimal amount of research done. Pure speculation, hearsay, conjecture and opinions. Purely polemic. How do you reason with a generation that think they are right about everything? Personally, in an Ogundare-run Britain I would ban single people from giving relationship advice. I know, idealist and a little totalitarian but let me get back to reality. If you are a perennially single person who always has troubles in love and relationships what exactly qualifies you to be a 'relationship expert'? The last girl I was involved with dished out this advice like nobodies business, but she couldn't even manage a civil conversation with me yet alone a relationship but she was endorsing herself like a book featured on Oprah.
Last year I wrote in a blog post that I would no longer be giving relationship advice to people that I did not feel had the necessary "testicular fortitude" needed to carry out my advice. This was only half the story. I had realised that I could not be giving out advice on something I have never been successful at? How many failed business entrepreneurs are giving lectures right now on how their business plans failed to get off the ground for big bucks? Like I said I'm a failure when it comes to relationships and I HATE failing - at anything. But I have to admit this obvious truth. So please do not rely on me to give you tips on how to have a successful relationship. However, if you want advice on how to self destruct your relationship into a million pieces and make sure your ex holds a grudge against you for an indefinite amount of time.... THEN I AM YOUR MAN!
The only thing I can do is warn you if I feel that your decisions or actions may lead to more trouble in the long run because I am expert in that. Just be real. But like I've said before I seem to be one of the few rational people in a generation full of delusional love-loving agony aunts and uncles. But I fear I am fighting a losing battle. People will have a sense of entitlement regardless. Guess I need to speed up my plans for world domination.
To be honest I don't think I will ever understand why humans yearn for sexually exclusive heterosexual (or gay/bi-sexual) companionship. I guess it is one of the few areas you could call me socially awkward in.
(Un)happy relationships to all.
great post!
ReplyDeleteand I hate to say it, but I agree with you. Single people are selfish people that haven't a clue about compromising every inch of their selfishness for a relationship.
Okay you didnt say that, but sounds good!
Single Black Female ; )
loool thank you very much. I am very much a fan of your blog since I go through a lot of the same experiences, only as a male of course.
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